Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

Entertainment

‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ Guest Host Chelsea Handler Chides the Supreme Court

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Chelsea Handler kicked off four nights of guest hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Monday night, saying, “I will be here all week long, or at least until Republicans make it illegal for women to talk.”

“Jimmy is off right now doing whatever the [expletive] he wants with his body.” — CHELSEA HANDLER

Handler dedicated her monologue to the Supreme Court’s Friday decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

“Remember like five days ago when Fox News told us the biggest threat facing America was drag queens? That was cute.” — CHELSEA HANDLER

“At this point I’d probably have more rights if my vagina was an AR-15.” — CHELSEA HANDLER

“And by the way, I’m speaking from experience on all of this as someone who had three abortions in high school. And if that sounds too extreme, let’s pretend I had two. Because here’s the thing: This planet is a much safer place without me polluting it with my children. I’m responsible enough to know that we don’t need any more pothead molly-loving alcoholics running around topless.” — CHELSEA HANDLER

“Not only has this decision further divided our country, most families now have two separate group texts going: one with relatives who support the rights of women and one with the relatives who live in Florida.” — CHELSEA HANDLER

“People just want things done. No one cares about Kente cloth or singing on the Capitol steps and especially not poetry, all right? I feel like any moment now Chuck Schumer is going to throw on a fake pregnant belly, and just take a knee in the Capitol and be like ‘We are all pregnant now and we’re standing together.’” — TREVOR NOAH

“The Daily Show” correspondent Michael Kosta investigated vasectomies on Monday’s show.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You May Also Like

News

Four Texas jewelry store owners suspect they are being targeted by same thief, and none of them have received assistance from the Austin Police...

Entertainment

At any point did your relationship with the role turn into a feeling of ownership? Yes. Mike is mine. Mike is mine. I caught...

News

There was something for everyone in Tuesday’s economic reports. If you are convinced that the economy is already in a recession or hurtling toward...

Politics

JACKSON, Wyo. — Representative Liz Cheney of Wyoming conceded defeat to Harriet Hageman in her Republican primary on Tuesday, handing Donald J. Trump his...

Advertisement